Lack of Personal and Collective Growth: When leaders stop developing themselves, while others around them want to keep advancing, they set unspoken limits on the mission and breed resentment among their team members.
In J. K. Rowling’s popular fictional series, Harry Potter is orphaned as a baby when the evil Lord Voldemort murders both of his parents. Harry is, by nature, a wizard. But he is sent to live with his bombastic “muggle” (people with no magical ability) uncle and aunt, the Dursleys, who treat him with contempt even as they dote on his spoiled cousin, Dudley. He has no awareness of his true magical heritage and is made to believe that there is something unnatural and freakish about him.
When Harry finds out he’s a wizard and arrives at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he begins a journey to discover his parentage, his history, and his role in a much bigger story of good versus evil. But to move forward in that story, he must first face the deepest longings of his heart, those unanswered questions about his own worthiness.
He happens across a special mirror hidden in an abandoned classroom, the Mirror of Erised. When anyone looks into the mirror, it shows them the deepest, most desperate desires of their heart. Harry is amazed to see himself surrounded by his parents, James and Lily Potter, whom he never knew.
For Harry, the mirror offers a fleeting connection to the family he lost. It reveals his longing for love, belonging, and identity. He becomes obsessed with the mirror, returning night after night to see his parents. But eventually, Dumbledore, Hogwarts’ headmaster, finds Harry in front of the mirror and warns him, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
This moment marks a turning point in Harry’s emotional growth. He begins to accept his past losses so he can focus on his present life. While not forgetting his past, he reimagines his history as part of his ongoing story and identity development, which fuels his growth into the person he is becoming and prepares him to face Lord Voldemort and defeat him. He learns what his role as “the chosen one” truly means; his part in the story is not idealistic, entitled, or arrogant, but instead he is marked by love—the same legacy of love that caused his parents to sacrifice themselves for him, leaving a scar on his forehead—and moved to just action by loyalty, friendship, compassion, self-sacrifice, and bravery. The mirror would have robbed him of all this and diminished his place and potency in the story.
Many leaders get stuck in the trap of their high-minded moralism, idealism, or egoism. Their own Mirror of Erised enamors them with their own worldviews. Consequently, it blinds them to the expansive horizons of missional possibilities bigger than themselves that require a renewed imagination, recharged motivations, and redeemed humility.
This is the trap of The Stunted Mirror, the fourth of our Big 10 Culture Killers of Effective Leadership Teams.
The Stunted Mirror derives its destructive power from self-deception. Just as Harry Potter’s obsession with the mirror originated from good desires (the love and acceptance of his family), leaders often confuse their noble aspirations for team well-being and mission integrity. After all, what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander!
Unfortunately, this attitude can unintentionally belittle others’ experiences, invalidate their perspectives, and dehumanize their interests. The outcome is a discouraged and battered team that gives up because it can never meet its leaders’ lofty ideals. The insidious part, however, is that team members are made to believe they are in the wrong. Why? Because who could possibly challenge their leader’s values, character, and beliefs that all sound so right on? Doing so might seem almost unethical and disloyal.
Years ago, I was part of a campus outreach effort that quickly grew beyond what any of us believed we could realistically handle. The rapid expansion was fueled by a few collaborators whose inspiring vision and energy drove the project forward. However, no one dared to slow down, worried it might be seen as a lack of faith. As the designated representative for my organization, I took the initiative to develop a more thoughtful and sustainable strategy that matched our true capacity.
I remember a moment when I gently told one of the more visionary team members that what he was promoting was a big dream. His response was very spiritual: “I think it’s better to ask ourselves, ‘What can’t God do?’” (Answer = nothing; in other words, the sky is the limit!). It was a statement that sounded noble and full of faith. However, beneath the surface, I felt unseen and powerless. The spiritual language, though persuasive, hid a one-sided idea that effectively pushed aside the leadership of the more practical members of the team. Over time, it became clear that the leader’s beliefs, no matter how good his intentions, had become a mirror reflecting his own ideals rather than a window into shared understanding and mutual trust.
Now, most mission leaders genuinely want the best for their team and mission. Therefore, it is essential for leaders to regularly reflect on their leadership to break free from their respective stunted mirrors. There are three key aspects to such healthy self-reflection: inward, upward, and outward.
Inward: What values, desires, and beliefs drive my leadership and why?
Upward: Who is really at the center of my leadership – Jesus or me?
Outward: How would others describe their experience of my leadership?
By thoughtfully reflecting on these three questions, leaders can dismantle the Stunted Mirror and, instead, build for themselves and their teams a telescope. The Kingdom Telescope directs leaders to what lies beyond themselves and magnifies God’s expansive purposes as well as the overlooked beauty in others. While the Stunted Mirror keeps leaders focused on self-centered idealism, the Kingdom Telescope encourages them to look outward with wonder and anticipation. It forms leaders into explorers of God’s kingdom, not mere curators of their idealistic world.
The following set of questions for self-reflection, known as an Examen, along with accompanying spiritual formation practices, can help leaders reflect on their leadership with teachability and humility. When practiced regularly, this Examen will develop a Kingdom Telescope as the focus of our leadership, which is essential for healthy and effective leadership teams.
Daily Examen for Leaders:
- What stirred my deepest convictions today, and how did I respond?
- Did my decisions reflect my core values or compromise them?
- What desires shaped my leadership today? Were they rooted in love or fear?
- Where did I feel most aligned with my calling, and where did I feel dissonance?
- What belief about leadership or identity surfaced in my actions today?
- In what moments did I consciously surrender control to Jesus?
- Did I seek affirmation from God or others?
- How did I invite the Spirit’s wisdom into my leadership today?
- Was Jesus truly at the center of my leadership decisions, or was I?
- What did I learn about God’s character through today’s challenges?
- If my team could write a letter about their experience under my leadership, what would it say?
- Where did my leadership create space for others to flourish?
Practices for Missional Leadership Formation:
- Begin each day by naming one value you want to embody.
- Journal your leadership motives weekly. What’s driving you and why?
- Create a “rule of life” that aligns your leadership with your spiritual convictions.
- Practice silence to discern between ego-driven and Spirit-led impulses.
- Invite a trusted mentor to speak into blind spots around your desires and beliefs.
- Start meetings with a prayer that re-centers leadership on Jesus.
- Memorize Scripture that reminds you of your identity in Christ, not performance.
- Reflect weekly on the Philippians 2 Christ Hymn and the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7.
- Fast from self-promotion and let others speak for your impact.
- Reflect weekly on how your leadership mirrors the humility of Christ.
- Celebrate moments when you relinquished control and trusted God’s outcomes.
